12 Ways to Tell Your Boy Band Isn’t Going to Make It
So, you think you have what it takes to make it in a boy band, do you?
1. The only “boys” in your group are the ones that pick you up at the old folks home to take you to your next gig.
2. When the girls in your crowd scream as you take the stage, it’s for the nearest cop.
3. Your young fans wait for you backstage so they can ask for a ride home.
4. The tickets for your concerts come with a senior discount.
5. During a performance at a shopping mall, a security guard tasered you for disturbing the public.
6. Everyone in the crowd is wearing earmuffs in the middle of July.
7. The “bad boy” in your group couldn’t go on the tour because he didn’t get a reprieve from the governor.
8. The only reason your album went platinum was so people could burn them.
9. The only crowd your music attracts at your concerts is a pack of wild stray dogs.
10. The military sent in the Army to overthrow your fan club president.
11. You’re no longer allowed to perform at bar mitzvahs because your moves are so hammy.
12. Your audience isn’t deaf.