Five Reasons States Would Be Crazy to Allow Sunday Alcohol Sales — And One Reason Why They Should
Connecticut lawmakers recently passed a law allowing customers to buy alcohol at stores on Sundays, making Indiana the only state in the union to ban Sunday alcohol sales.
It’s a controversial subject, sure, which is why we’ve decided to present the five reasons states shouldn’t allow Sunday alcohol sales — and one reason they should!
1. Sunday Beer Just Tastes Better When You Plan Ahead
With alcohol being readily available seven days a week there is no longer a sense of urgency in the wide, wide, world of the boozehound. The need to remember to purchase Sunday beer on Saturday night, or be forced to suffer without it, gives an alcoholic some responsibility…and everything, including booze, tastes better after you’ve earned it!
2. It’s Our Favorite Blue Law To Complain About
Blue booze laws are the most infamous of all the great American blue laws. Complaining about dumb laws based on supposed moral fiber would never be the same if this one was completely abolished.
3. More People Will Call In Sick To Work On Mondays
We’re sure that there’s some poll somewhere claiming Americans are missing work on Monday due to Sunday alcohol sales. So it stands to reason that booze sales on the Sabbath are having a significant impact on the gross national product and the American economy — keeping this country down one hangover at a time.
4. Liquor Store Clerks Need A Day Off, Too
We know that being a liquor store clerk sounds like a glamorous job, but in reality it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be. They’re on their feet a lot, and even though they see their share of nice people, they see more than their fair share of jerks and degenerates, too. The truth is not all liquor store clerks want to work seven days a week any more than you do. So give them a break, will you?
5. Liquor Stores Light Up Prettier Than Churches
It’s similar in theory to how McDonald’s hooks little kids with tall, bright yellow arches. A bright neon liquor store sign looks like a lot more fun to hang around than the lackluster lure of a church steeple. No religious sect has a prayer of winning the youthful souls of tomorrow while up against the electric circus!
And the one reason states should allow sunday alcohol sales…Because Stockpiling Beer On Saturday STINKS
It really does stink. Ask anyone who still has to do it. Plus, not everyone has a buddy with a truck.