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10 Reasons You Should Stay Gainfully Unemployed — The Funnies

Couch potato

Jobs Jobs Jobs! That’s all anyone talks about these days. Have you ever actually had a job? Most of them are awful, so sit back, relax and look at the bright side of not getting a steady paycheck.

Check out these reasons why not having a job may be the greatest thing since the creation of

1. Mid-day talk shows have gotten really good these days.

2. The government works really hard to get us unemployment checks. Why hurt their feelings?

3. The supermarkets and malls are much more pleasant around 2 p.m. Have you been to one after 6?

4. Getting to know your mailman can be very spiritually fulfilling.

5. The girls — that is, reruns of ‘The Golden Girls.’

6. Working people are so tired and moody all the time.

7. It’s an environment thing, man. Staying on the couch lessens one’s carbon footprint.

8. Have you tried choosing where to eat lunch with office mates? It’s chaos.

9. Your leased car will never go over its miles.

10. Dorothy had it right 75 years ago: There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.

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