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10 Absurd Consequences of Hostess Filing for Bankruptcy


Hostess, which makes such iconic foods as Wonder Bread and Twinkies, has filed for bankruptcy. The company is some $860 million in debt, so clearly some restructuring is in order.

What happens now, you ask? Here are some possible scenarios of what may take place:

1. The people who eat Hostess cakes can discover apple and strawberry are real foods, not just artificial flavors.

2. Ho Hos will have to go back to the streets to make ends meet.

3. Little Debbie and Drake’s go to court for custody of Twinkie the Kid.

4. All Hostess cupcakes will be seized by the TSA.

5. Hostess offers to settle with its creditors by paying them off with $900 million worth of Sno Balls.

6. All remaining icing will use whatever connections they have to get a job in the Krimpets division of Tastykake.

7. Government scientists will throw all their time and energy into figuring out just what is in a Twinkie.

8. Every single CupCake ever made will come forward to announce it is diabetic.

9. Nothing will happen. A Twinkie can last forever, so waiting out a little thing like bankruptcy is no big deal.

10. Hostess and Sears will team up to create the least profitable company in history.

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